I woke up this morning at 8am (rare for me when I don't actually have to be up) and decided to go for a bike ride. I cycled to Belmont North and back on this cycle track which is a disused railway track. The last bit of it is very bumpy (going over railway sleepers), but after about 16km's it's super-satisfying. I got to Belmont North, found and Aldi, did some grocery shopping and then cycled back home.

 

I was absolutely exhausted and at certain stages of my trip back I felt physically ill. Also, I discovered my "wall". Even though you may stop many times along your journey (e.g. drink breaks), my "wall" came to me when I was half way home from the shops. It's a time when you're willing yourself to go on, and your brain is telling you to keep going, but your body takes over and you stop. And there's nothing you can do about it.

 

There's a great (very corny) moment in the movie Run Fat Boy Run where the main character hits his "wall". Thanks to the miracle of movies, we were able to see his physical wall. And that is exactly what it feels like. For a moment, there is nowhere to go and you have to just give in to the wall in front of you. But, like in the movie, I willed myself on. I wanted to prove to myself that I could work through it. So I pulled myself up off the ground, got back on my bike and rode ridiculously slowly up the hill.

 

And as soon as I started going again, I had an adrenalin rush which spurred me all the way home. As I arrived home, I almost collapsed with exhaustion, but managed to drag myself into the shower. I now feel ridiculously proud of myself and I've probably shed about a billion kilos in weight. Or not.

 

A bit of good news (weight-loss wise). At the beginning of last year, my body-fat was at around 40%. At Uni yesterday, we were learning how to weigh patients and work out medication amounts for a patient based on their metabolism, weight etc. I checked my body weight with a weird machine thing (MUM: like the one at Curves) and saw that I was down to 25% which means I'm no longer in the overweight category for body-fat. This is the most "normal" I have been in a long time.

 

Again, huge thanks to the messages and love I have been given. I'm off to make myself and chicken and avocado sandwhich (YUM) on soy-linseed bread. In later news, I love Aldi. $25.50 for two panniers and a large backpacks worth of groceries.

 

Take that, Coles.

So according to my favourite nutritionist (Leah), I should be having a big low-energy release breakfast, healthy snacks for morning tea, quite a big lunch (should be the biggest meal of the day), another snack for afternoon tea, and a small low-carb dinner.

I think that carbs are going to be my main problem: I love potatoes, rice, pasta, bread and anything that feels stodgy and delicious. Hopefully I will be able to work around my carb-addiction. Any suggestions for carb-replacements or suppressants?

 

And I'm going to try and not drink, or at least keep it to low-carb or light-beer. If I go out at night, it'll be Pepsi Max or Coke Zero for me.

 

So still no weight-loss, but my chins are looking slightly less on the bullfrog-side which is great. And thanks to my cycling over the past few months, I'm getting more toned leg-wise. I'm actually becoming quite a fan of my legs: well, when they are not covered in bruises and scabs from falling off said bicycle.

 

Ta to everyone for the messages and support. All the support it ridiculously amazing and very encouraging.

 

So signing off for another day.

 

Also (after Dad's advice) have a look for Randy Pausch's Last Lecture if you can find it. Not super-related to weight-loss, but inspiring none the less.

No weight-loss as yet. But I was amazed at my ability to resist a whole day of drinking and actually attend my lectures.

 

First, a bit of history. The University of Newcastle used to be part of Uni. of NSW, and in 1967 they were given Autonomy from the Uni. Basically, we become our own Uni. Good stuff. But now every second Friday of semester 2, the students association holds Autonomy Day (AD) on the Bar on the Hill to celebrate this historic event. AD basically consists of waking up at 5am, having beer for breakfast, and then making your way to the Bar on the Hill and drinking until you get kicked out, leaving on your own accord (about 12 hours later), or getting carried home. Since I knew that alcohol would equal weight gain and greasy food, I went to AD just to enjoy myself and not drink. Since I had a 2 hour break between one lecture and another, I just sat with some friends and helped myself to the free soft drink and water that was available for us non-drinkers. Once again, I proved to myself that you don't need alcohol to have a good time: most of your alcohol-free hilarity comes from watching other drunk people.

 

So my food/exercise diary for yesterday (25th):
- Honey & Banana sandwich for breakfast
- Sausage roll for lunch (BAD!!!)
- And my body mass in Coke Zero (at least there's no sugar!)
- 30 minute run, cycling to Uni, walking to a friends house and back to my house.

 

So far I am off to a bad start, but with self-control and continued support, I'm hoping to get there.

 

I'll let you know of how I go today. I have to go pick my bike up from the Uni as I had to escort one of my friends home to her house, and forgot about my bike. So that'll be part of my exercise today: walking to Uni and cycling back. Then I'm off for a bike ride with one of my housemates.

 

And now I'm off to Uni to find lots of passed-out people surrounded by empty beer cans, vomit and terrible hangovers.

 

Hahahahaha.

 

EDIT: 16:40pm

 

Back from our 3 hours bike ride. I am feelingsick from exhaustion, but in a good way. Hopefully burnt of yesterday's sausage roll. So now I'm off to wash off the mud and blood on my legs and start cooking dinner: we're having a roast tonight. Yummy. Steamed vegetables and chicken is good for the soul and body.

 

Afternoon, all. Thanks for the comments and support, guys!

 

PS. Uploaded a profile picture of what I plan to look like : )

 

So I've created this blog to keep accountable of my weight loss.

 

The main reason behind my weight loss is so I can prove to people in England that I'm not the "fat Em" of my childhood, and will no longer be referred to as a "big girl" and such.

 

The other reason is to try and boost my rapidly falling self-esteem. I've always had self-esteem issues, but I think solving the overweight problem will hopefully bring me to a place where I am comfortable with my body. Self-esteem issues have played a part in my depression. So hopefully my self-esteem go up, and my medication will go down! Fingers crossed.

 

Another reason is that my Dad has played a huge inspiration in weight-loss and has managed to lose an unimaginable amount of weight and is looking fantastic. He has made me notice that anyone can lose weight, no matter how many failed attempts or tries you have made :)

 

Hopefully this oncoming weight-loss will make me a healthier person. Although I consider myself fairly fit (cardio-wise), I'd like to become stronger and a bit more toned. Not overly-muscley, but toned. If I do somehow become one of those women who look like they are permanently on Steriods, please let me know.

 

 

So now it's down to my you (my friends and family) and me to keep me accountable of my weight loss. Even if it's sending me an email or SMS telling me to stick at it, or sending me low-fat yoghurt. I don't care. Just find a way to support me and keep me losing weight.

 

Thanks,

 

Em